that’s bullshit and people need to stop saying it.
That phrase is the adult version of, “Why are you hitting yourself?”
Seriously? You think Eleanor Roosevelt is full of shit?
What she’s saying is that people can treat you like you don’t matter, but they are wrong. YOU know you matter, and that’s what is important. What people think of you means nothing unless you let it get to you. Folks don’t like you? That’s not your problem unless you let it.
“That’s not your problem unless you let it” is victim-blaming bullshit.
Members of the dominant group can make laws and traditions that define you as lesser, if they let you be human at all. They can gaslight you into hating yourself, into hating people like you, into helping fuck over those people because of the characteristics you share.
Eleanor Roosevelt was an upper-class White woman. On this subject, she was indeed full of shit.
— Michelle Haimoff, on privilege (via jatigi)
A gay elite has hijacked queer struggle and positioned their desires as everyone else’s needs— the dominant signs of straight conformity have become the ultimate measures of gay success. Even when the gay rights agenda does include important issues, it does it in a way that consistently prioritizes the most privileged while fucking over everyone else.
I’m using the term “gay rights”, instead of the more popular term of the moment “LGBT rights”, because “LGBT” usually means gay, with lesbian in parentheses, throw out the bisexuals, and put trans on for a little window-dressing. Don’t even think about queers who don’t fit neatly into one of the prevailing categories!"
— ‘That’s Revolting!’ book (via fuckyeahhardfemme)
As I’m watching youarenotyou’s (super appreciated, btw) call for help for the trans chicks getting attacked by radscums build notes quickly and cis people actually paying attention.
And I’m remembering when we were under attack the last time and all of our calls for help, from like 12 different trans women, went ignored. Blogged and liked only by other trans women and some trans guys and nonbinary folks. And those same people helped us fight off the radscums. But no cis people.
That cis people only notice when it isn’t us calling them out but agender or fluid gender (or other nonbinary type) trans people or (especially) trans guys calling them out for leaving us high and dry when their own are targeting us.
That more often than not we can fight and fight and scream for help and cis people will stay quiet as shit but if a trans person who isn’t a trans woman calls them out they start flooding in, asking what they can do and how they can help.
Watching Raven have to single handedly take down a radscum by finding her personal blog cuz I and several other trans women got triggered out of function and no cis people fucking anywhere did anything.
Seeing the giant reblog lines created when these fuckers come after us and we tear them apart but they don’t care cuz in the end it’s about draining us, hurting us, pushing us down. Still no cis people.
I get compared to MRAs and misgendered. No cis people.
A pile of radscums come in after Raven cuz she actually was successful in one take down. And still. Where the fuck were the cis people then?
But someone else speaks up. Someone who isn’t a trans woman.
And the flood of aid starts.
I got a lot of feelings now. A lot of thoughts and feelings about this.
Yeah, I have a lot of complex feelings and thoughts about this. Although I will say as a non-binary trans femme person, I am often seen as a trans woman and treated the same way.
Yeah most nonbinary folks who are perceived as trans women (especially the dmab ones) get thrown into the pit with the rest of us.
Which is really telling, isn’t it, about how cis minds work.
While I was certainly every angry and upfront in my Dear Skinny People rant I fail to see that I was skinny shamming.
I did not say that skinny bodies are lesser bodies. I did not say that skinny bodies are disgusting bodies. I did not say that skinny bodies don’t deserve love. I did not say that skinny people should gain weight. I did not gloat about the fact I could fit into clothes they couldn’t.
I said skinny people should stop complaining about lack of availability of clothing in their size. (And I don’t consider inbetweenies skinny. My mom is one, I know you have a hard time finding clothes.)
I don’t need to finish off every fat rant with, “oh, but skinny people are nice too.” We are told that skinny bodies are the ideal bodies every fucking day.
Thin people never allow fat people any space to complain. Every time we vent we’re accused of body-shaming or some other shit to silence us.
You will describe all direct harmful actions or damaging negligence with the appropriate -ist words. Especially the word racist.
“I never thought about how band-aids were made to match the skin of people like me!”
Person overlooks a thing because they are privileged and don’t have to think about it. You may call the above statement privileged in this instance. Although if you called it racist, you would not be wrong.
“I never thought that the Black babies I care for would need protection from the sun as well.”
Racist. (also true story from when my sister worked at a daycare.)
Person neglects to think of the Black children as people and assumed their skin makes them a different species and, thus, puts them in danger by not protecting them from the elements. If you used the word “privileged” in this instance, I would say KBURD and give you this face:
You don’t want to get that face. You will loathe yourself from deep within if I gave you that face.
Err on the side of not minimizing racist harm.