Can anyone local give me a ride to an OB appointment tomorrow? It’s at 1:30 so the roads should be cleared, but it’s in Cottage Grove which is why I can’t just take the bus.
i am pro life but i recognize why we need abortion to be legal and easy
as long as everyone is educated on noth the pros AND cons of abortion
bc there are pros yes
but it DOES affect u emotionally and physically and people need to know that and have alternative options
APPLAUSE FOR YOU SIR
"as long as everyone is educated on both the pros AND cons of having a kid
bc there are pros yes
but dealing with having to raise offspring for 18+ years DOES affect u emotionally and physically and people need to know that and have alternative options”
There are certainly some people who regret having had particular abortions. Like any other reproductive health “choice,” it can be made under coercion, whether personal (from family members or a partner) or structural (poverty, racism, etc.).
We absolutely need REAL “alternative options” for unplanned pregnancy—which means a total overhaul of our nearly non-existent social safety net: increased SNAP, straight cash benefits to low-income people, high-quality subsidized childcare and housing, federally mandated paid parental leave… However, statistically speaking, people who experience significant negative mental health or life outcome consequences from a particular abortion are a very small minority.
People who are forced to carry unwanted pregnancies to term, however, suffer severe consequences, both in terms of mental health and life outcomes. Their negative outcomes are the norm for forced birth.
You know that thing where you’ve been having terrible insomnia for so long that you start avoiding going to bed because you’re afraid it’s going to happen again and you’d just rather not spend all that time lying in bed being super uncomfortable and tired yet not asleep?
It’s possibly even worse when SOME nights you end up falling asleep fairly easily, because then there’s a real possibility you’re screwing yourself for no reason.
Usually assertions about how terrible alcohol is for fetuses is one arena in which I don’t try to explain science to people, even though the research is pretty clear that light to moderate consumption in the second and third trimesters has no negative effect on fetal development (in the first, it may slightly raise miscarriage risk, but if that doesn’t happen there’s no risk of defect). I generally figure the odds that people will believe me rather than years of cultural conditioning is low, and they’re not directly hurting anyone…
…but the thing is, the NARRATIVE hurts people, as a large and prominent piece in the mainstream representation of pregnancy as a state that should be governed at all times by concern for the fetus, above and instead of the pregnant person, EVEN IF “risk” to fetus is CLEARLY IMAGINARY, and the pregnant person is inconvenienced, made miserable, or demonstrably HARMED by avoiding that “risk.” (Aside from which, any ACTUAL risk to the fetus is still something that only the pregnant person can evaluate and decide whether it outweighs risk/possible benefit to them.)
The narrative supports a mindset that happily strips pregnant people of autonomy via misinformation, social pressure, and outright criminalization. Even for pregnant people who occupy general positions of privilege, it creates all kinds of totally unnecessary-by-ANY-rubric suffering. For pregnant people who are already marginalized in various ways, by race, ability, class, etc., it smooths the way for all kinds of institutional abuse.
I can feel my period
I can feel it in my boob pain
your… boobs start hurting when you get your period??
you have no idea
I never got boob tenderness or soreness with my period, but I definitely had it with both pregnancies, which makes me suspect it’s progesterone-related.
So… the reason my green PJ pants with the candy canes on them have been uncomfortable and generally ill-fitting is that, contrary to my unquestioned assumptions, they aren’t my MATERNITY candy cane PJ pants. My maternity candy cane PJ pants are red, and were in the same previously unearthed box in the basement that also contained my two OTHER pairs of maternity PJ pants.
Now I’m ACTUALLY wearing maternity PJ pants and OH MY GOD. Now I remember why I basically wore nothing else unless I had to leave the house last time.
In my experience, if you freely tell people what you’re going to name your baby, you are likely to end up regretting it (that’s me, of course—you do you). Many people do not realize that being told the name is in no way a solicitation of their opinion.
In light of this, until the birth we’re just going to tell everyone the baby’s name will be “Gidget Petrichor.”
(My friend Travis, who came up with the middle name, wonders if there is a German word for “decoy name you tell people to prevent them from asking about and suggesting other baby names.” THERE SHOULD BE.)
At last, I can satisfy people’s INSATIABLE CURIOSITY about my fetus’s genitals!
As we already suspected based on the intensity of my nausea, it’s another female-assigned fetus. This means we know what her name is (provisionally), and I will probably get into fewer fights with strangers about what she wears as a baby/toddler, but, if her assigned gender is correct, probably more fights with strangers (and family members) about what she wears as a teenager.
It’s okay. It’s not like I wasn’t going to get into fights with strangers at SOME point.
You have a reason to cry. It’s not like you’re crying because WHITE GUILT or anything. You’re affected by a physical condition. <3
Be gentle with yourself, you are growing a human and that is stressful, and stress is a reason to cry in my book.
Thank you both.
It’s especially hard for me because I guess, in general, the last couple years of my life to the contrary, I was not a weepy person? Suddenly becoming ultra weepy is bizarre, even though it also happened in my first pregnancy (when I didn’t have PTSD either, or at least not as badly, so there was just, generally, a lot less crying in my daily life).
I thought they were already pretty bad but we have now entered the phase where I cannot read a) the news or b) virtually any materials I use for teaching social inequality without weeping.
This makes me very irritated with myself, so I end up staring at a computer screen sniffling while my internal monologue goes “WHY ARE YOU CRYING, YOU ARE FINE, IF ANYTHING THIS DEMONSTRATES WHY YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO REASON TO CRY.”
Not that this was unexpected—it happened with my first pregnancy, too—but I have a massive knot in my ass. I am literally alternating sitting on a heating pad and sitting on a tennis ball as hard as I can trying to get that sucker to unlock. I wish I could lie down and have someone apply the entire weight of their body to my left buttcheek via elbow, but I don’t have another massage appointment until Friday.
This is basically just the BEGINNING of the hip and leg problems that pregnancy causes for me. I need to find the under-belly band/girdle thing I wore with my first pregnancy; I think it helps at least a little by taking a bit of the weight off my hips. Even my massage therapist admits, though, that there is not a lot you can do about too much weight on the hips—it’s harder to redistribute than weight causing knee or ankle problems (though if my IT band gets tight enough, it will actually pull my knee out of whack and make it nearly impossible to walk).
I finally found a new chiropractor and I have an intake appointment on Wednesday. My old one was really good, but a) they aren’t covered by our insurance so it was all out-of-pocket, b) they’re literally on the opposite side of town from our house now, and c) they’re anti-vaxxers, which is really the only issue of the three that I consider insurmountable. I stopped going to them after Kid #1 was born. The new place takes our insurance and is a little over a mile from our house (though not very bus-accessible). Hopefully they’ll be good, because things are only going to get worse.